More paperwork

(This story is best read from the beginning. Click here.)

I can understand the “I’m the luckiest man alive” feeling some guys have when they are married to the right woman. The difference between them and me is that I’m actually the luckiest (most fortunate) man alive! I am in awe when I think about the time Ana and I spend together and when I think about the plans we’re making and the future we have. We put a lot of thought into the timing of the civil and religious weddings. Our intention was to consider the civil wedding as just part of the process or one of the steps. Sending her back to Mexico and waiting here without her is proving to be much more difficult than I had expected. I can’t wait to have her back but I will miss one of our rituals once she is home with me. Every morning that we’re apart, for ten months now, I’ve sent Ana a text message in the morning to greet her or encourage her for the day. I’ll miss that but I think it will be worth giving up when I can open my eyes and see her first thing in the morning.

The immigration paperwork is nearly ready. I started to work on translating Ana’s documents for the application. Instead, we’ve decided to hire again the translator we used before the civil wedding. She is much faster and creates beautiful documents. We’re also working on getting a translator for the wedding. It’s unclear how many of my friends, family and clients will make it to Mexico but there are enough coming that we want to have someone translate during the service. We met someone who would be perfect and are waiting to hear his response. I should have the translated documents in a couple of days and hope to put the application in next week.

Starting the paperwork

(This story is best read from the beginning. Click here.)

Generally, I'm one who likes to enjoy the journey as much as arriving at the destination. But waiting until the end of August for our second wedding is going to drive me crazy! Hopefully I’ll be able to travel to Mexico to see Ana within the month.

The copies of our marriage license arrived last week with Ana’s biographical form and birth certificate. I was working out of town again and didn't pick them up until Friday. I'm starting to get the marriage license and Ana's birth certificate translated and hope to submit the application this week. We still have over 11 weeks until the wedding to get the 8 week process completed.

History
The weeks following Christmas were filled with phone calls and chat sessions where we planned the next trip and more specific wedding plans. We researched the immigration options during this time and looked into the licensing requirements for Ana to practice here. I had a project in Houston, TX in January and Ana met me there for a weekend. Her family has relatives there that they haven’t seen in over 10 years. We spent a day with them. I enjoyed watching them catch up on family news and sharing pictures. I learned a new work too. Before coming to visit, Ana was talking with her aunt and told her about me. Her aunt exclaimed, you’re dating a “bolillo”!? Apparently, I am “plain white bread.” So now I’m trying to think of breads that are made with brown sugar. We joked about the new name and had a great time with the family in Houston on Saturday. Some of them came to church and lunch with us on Sunday as well.

I made a couple more trips in March and April. On one of those trips, Nery’s fiancé, Farzin, was there at the same time. Farzin was born in Iran and is a dentist in Illinois. I don’t think the parents knew what to think that week with such variety in the house. As always, we had a great time eating, talking, translating and sight-seeing. One night at dinner, I was trying to tell a story in my broken Spanish. Ana was helping it along in Spanish for her parents and Nery was translating it back into English for Farzin. It was a very comical, ironic moment. Another night, Nery, Farzin, Gaby, Ana and I were having dinner at a nice Italian restaurant and Laina, a friend from Indiana sent me a text message asking me if we were married yet. I replied “No, but we’re enjoying the honeymoon.” Laina was having dinner with several other friends at the time and I got several responses asking “What??!!” On the menu was a “Honeymoon Salad” that Ana and I were sharing. I took a picture of it and sent it to everyone later. I don’t know what they were all thinking.

Laina asked the wedding question because we were hoping to start the process for the civil ceremony on one of these trips. We had been told that there was a 35 day waiting process once I applied for permission to marry in Mexico. There are several steps to go through when applying for permission. Ana had already acquired an instruction page listing all the documents we needed. Documents from the US need to have an apostille attached. An apostille is a state certification of a county document. They are available from the Secretary of State’s office in each state. Each Secretary of State can only certify documents from their respective state. I discovered this when trying to get an apostille in Indiana for my California birth certificate. Because of that oversight, we weren’t able to do anything in March. Thanks to my mother’s help, I was finally able to get the apostille for my birth certificate in time for the April trip. We drove two hours to the immigration office to apply for permission to marry. We started at the information desk to get directions. There are over a dozen desks or windows to visit depending on what you want to accomplish. We were sent to our first location to get the payment form. We then had to find a bank to pay the fee since the government offices don’t accept payments. We returned, with our receipt and a couple more copies of documents, to the next station where our documents were inspected and accepted. At the third station, the documents were reviewed and we were told that there was no 35 day waiting period, it was only 7-10 days. That was the good news. The bad news was that I couldn’t leave the country until after the wedding. Unfortunately, I only had three days available before returning to complete a critical project. We had to wait until the next trip when I could plan on staying long enough to complete the process.
The next trip was in May when we were able to complete the application and we had the civil wedding. This part of the story is told back in the first entry. Therefore, this concludes the historical overview. Occasionally I think of additional events or Ana reminds me of something interesting that happened along the way. I’ll add those in new posts along with the progress reports. By the time we are married, someone should be able to use our experiences to understand a little more of the immigration process. I’ll continue to add links to the variety of resources needed to enjoy the process.

Preparing to Leave Mexico

So much to write and so little time! I have new pictures of new foods and stories about another wonderful couple, also with two boys. Geninne and Manuel live two blocks from the Hacienda in a brand new house they designed and built. We spent hours that felt like minutes again. We discovered that they and Ana know some of the same people. In a city of 20 million people, I think that’s incredible. I have pictures of us feeding the ducks as well. I’ll come back and replace this with a fuller story a little later but it’s late and we are getting ready to return to Indiana tomorrow. Ana will be looking for a dress and we will start the immigration process as well as we can.

Unfortunately, the application process requires documentation supporting the marriage but the fee we paid to get married doesn’t include documentation. I had to print a form from the internet requesting copies; take the form to a bank to pay the fee; make copies of the validated form, receipt and some other pages and return to the civil office to submit the paperwork to ask for the copies. I was told the copies would be ready on Friday. Not too bad but we are leaving on Wednesday. Unless I can get someone to pick up the copies and send them on Friday, I will have to wait until Ana returns to Mexico to send them. This is not atypical based on our experience so far. Check this page again in a day for the updated, fuller version.

Sunday with Family and Friends

(This story is best read from the beginning. Click here.)

It was a long and simple day today. We went to church today where nearly 20 were baptized. Each had written a testimony that was read just before their baptism.

In the afternoon the entire family met for our wedding dinner. We didn’t go to El Arroyo but to Enrique’s instead. Enrique’s also has a dinner show and thanks to Homero, Ana’s oldest brother, we had a table next to the stage. During the show the performers were congratulating those with birthdays, anniversaries or other special events. They called our names and announced our wedding and then asked “What are you doing here?!”

Everyone in the family has been incredibly kind and supportive throughout this entire adventure. Ana was concerned in the very beginning about how her father and oldest brother would respond to someone coming to take their little girl/baby sister away. They have been the best though. I told Ana early on that I realized marriage included the entire family and I couldn’t be happier with hers.

After dinner we met new friends Anna and Aaron and their two sons. We were there two or three hours but it seemed like 15 minutes. Anna is Mexican and Aaron is Canadian (I didn’t know that happened) so they understand what we are, and will be, experiencing. I’m looking forward to coming back and enjoying more of their enthusiasm and encouragement. I’m kicking myself though because I took the camera in with us and forgot to get a picture. Next time!!

History
I didn’t learn until some time later that this relationship almost ended. About two weeks before the trip, three days after buying the tickets, Ana was ready to cancel the trip. Here she describes what happened…

After work one day, I was speaking with a friend about
men, marriage, God and His plans. While driving home
I remembered that one verse that says husbands must
love their wife as Jesus loves the church. So I decided
that Brian could not love me that way or even half than
Jesus loves the church, and that the best thing was for
him to not come, and that I needed to cancel the trip and
to stop this madness! When I arrived at the house we did
not have power and therefore we did not have Internet
and obviously then we could not chat online. That night
Brian called me on the telephone and we spoke a little and
I thought that it would be best to wait until the next day
to break everything off. The next day, in the morning,
Brian sent a message to me that said the previous night
he was praying because God taught to him love me as
Jesus loves the church… After that I could not tell him
that he could not come… I had to discover that it was
what God had for us!

Thank God for prayer!